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Reflection 1 - Doubt

8/25/2009 7:35:37 PM

REFLECTION 1

Doubt

In mid-life transition, everything is called into doubt: our relationships, our principles, our vocation, our purpose in life. We look at things that were once deeply meaningful and suddenly (it seems) doubt their place in our lives and their value in our hearts. What was firm ground now seems too shaky to hold us. We’re no longer clear about who we are and how we fit into this world.

If you’re someone who has been in the church and who now questions whether the church is the place you want to be, you may be feeling like a lost soul who no longer knows where its home is. You might go from church to church seeking whatever it is that will help make your faith meaningful again.

When important things like faith slowly become meaningless, we feel bereft. At some point we will tell ourselves that if this is the way life is going to be, we’ve got to make it work somehow. Or, our need for relief may be so great we can’t imagine staying where we are, but we have no idea yet where it is we need to be.

When mid-life transition calls our faith into question, it’s tempting to walk away from God, to believe there’s either no life beyond the physical life here or if there is, there’s no God who gives it purpose. God seems as unsubstantial as everything else.

That’s what transition is all about.

Although few things seem clear during this time, it’s important to hold onto this truth: the very moment we make a choice for faith, that’s the moment Divine forces are set into motion on our behalf. We may not know how that faith will be shaped; we may not know how to talk about God or even have a clear picture of who this God is. That isn’t what’s important at this point.

What’s important is refusing to allow doubt to stop us in our tracks and then, to remain open to continuing the journey we were put on earth to complete. We may have no idea where this journey is taking us, but if we make an intentional decision to trust that God’s purpose is interwoven through all of it, sooner or later, doubt will lead to insight and new faith. But that isn’t going to happen overnight.

The hard part is to believe in the journey in the first place, and not to be afraid of where it might lead. In the story of Abraham, God calls Abraham on a journey to the place where God will show him. No GPS to guide the way, no idea where the journey will end.

For someone like me who has absolutely no directional sense, that’s a frightening thought. Before I begin a trip, I visit my favorite internet map site and get step by step directions. I also carry maps just in case the directions prove unreliable or there’s unexpected construction. I want to know where the trip begins, where it ends and how long it will take to get from Point A to Point B. Only then do I venture forth.

The bottom line is before I begin any journey, I need to know my destination. Abraham didn’t even have that much. There was only Abraham’s willingness to go and God’s promise that God would go with him.

Isn’t that basically all we really need: to know that there is purpose to our journey and to know that God goes with us? We are never truly alone in this world, regardless of how we feel at times.

In this transition, it’s our ideas about faith and God that are undergoing change. God is reliable and this world and the Universe are filled with Life that moves always forward. We’re part of that story, whether we believe it or not. It’s just to live it intentionally is so much more of a blessing than merely getting through life.

Here’s to the journey!